Four poems.
Creative Voices
By Barbara Peña / Contributor
13
Chose to see the world with eyes of love
Shaking hands with anyone without a glove
For I blindly trust, so no one feels denied
No matter how they appear on the outside
I don’t appear to be depressed about the abyss
But I get depressed as my misfortunes I reminisce
Nevertheless, I’m curious about what’s out there
I believe that by being kind I will attain my fate
I think it is a rare quality to find,
It’s also an underrated thing— to be kind
Don’t call me a hopeless romantic for this
But humans are inherently good— or so I believe
If people aren’t good as I hoped
Being hurt won’t change my core
I like the new person who I am becoming
Know it’s a result of my traumas overcoming
Mom, you’ve given me the wings I own today
Now it’s time to let me fly away
18
Today is one of those days I spiral
Doubting if I’m a nice person or not
Hanging round my brothers friends
Cuz I felt alone and they were downstairs
Shoulda’ planned something, I thought
And had a night hanging with friends on my own
But it was a hard week and wouldn’t pick up my phone
Actually scratch that, it’s been a hard life, being alone
I wanna feel free, like I control my days
But it makes people uncomfy not wearing my chains
Wounds on my face that I hide, but it’s obvious
Nowadays it’s very expensive being self conscious
The day is though so I wait for when I’m sleeping
Only to be haunted by my demons as I’m dreaming
Got more problems than what I wanna show
But ignoring these only makes them grow
22
You won’t use my womanhood as a weapon no more
You use it against me, even worse
I love being a girl though its hard sometimes
Sucks to prove myself worthy, at times
My life is filled with privilege and I’m aware
The only way to make it worthwhile is to help
Like Marilyn attending front row to go to Ella’s gigs
Promotion and paparazzi at a black woman’s deed
What a role model she was
And you know what?
Using privilege for good is not that hard
Guess I’m mixed but I am ‘white passing’
But if my brother got stopped by the police
God, I would be scared for him, I think
Even if I had a hundred percent white blood
We should care regardless it could happen to us or not
24
Don’t you ever wish you could listen to a song as if it were the first time?
Every single time I looked at you, that’s how I felt in my heart.
And it was such a beautiful song that played in my head
I didn’t say anything because I was afraid it’ll make you be scared
I had to scroll down more than what I thought I would
Time passes by so fast and I’d stop it if I could
Because I had to scroll so much down earlier
Just so I could reminisce our memories together
I still remember like it was yesterday, pretending to read a book in the hallways
You walked the same route from class to class, always
Though it was a November weather and I was shivering, I remained there
But a little birdie told you I loved you and you got scared
I sat there even when it got too late to quit
I knew you weren’t coming but I guessed I deserved it
For letting my hopes get out of view
For not being enough for you
Then I went and tried to mend my heart with some random guy’s kisses
Who I didn’t know it back then, but took advantage of my heart being in a million pieces
You opted to give me the premium friend ticket
So I wouldn’t feel like being down I got kicked
You said I overthink things and yes, that’s true
But indecisive? That’s not me, its you
It made you sad because you felt you were losing a friend
You did, but you know that I’d do it all again
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